so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
