it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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