haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
