Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
