Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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