The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
