you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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