Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
