hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
nutella sex= disaster
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I still have a little drunk in my system
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
