Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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