Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
