They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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