a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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