I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
