Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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