allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
