I have demons in me.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
