You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
