That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
