He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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