Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
