I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
