Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
