Don't you send me to vm
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
