Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
