You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
