so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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