Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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