i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
