Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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