remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
