I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
