Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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