just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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