I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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