I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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