i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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