Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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