It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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