last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
