lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Randomize
