Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
