i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
A+ Viking dick
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
