I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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