Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
