somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
