So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
