I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
