i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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