I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
